The last couple of months I’ve been in a rough place, depressed, anxious and without really a point in life. I just spent my days in bed, avoiding all contact with family and friends and every responsibility that I had. I spent my days judging myself and telling myself that I am worthless and I kept making excuses for why that is the way it is. I started writing a diary daily and I noticed I keep telling myself all these lies that would give me a short lasting glimmer of hope – tomorrow you’re gonna quit eating junk food, you’re gonna start working out, you’re gonna start waking up early, study, finish your chores, clean your apartment, go out and socialize etc. But none of those things really ever happened, those were just fake promises that I made to keep my mind thinking that there is still a chance for me and that I have time to do all those things.
I would try and do something of the list I gave myself and instantly I would feel better, I’d get out of the vicious depressed and anxious cycle and actually start putting in some work, the problem is, that feeling lasted for only about 3-4 days where I would just lose interest in everything and go back to rock bottom. Every day was a new start and I got sick of it. I got sick of telling my girlfriend I’d get better and that ”I HAVE A NEW PLAN” for me and I felt sick of failing over and over again and about a week ago I snapped.
I went over my diary and I noticed a pattern. Every day for the last month I’ve been writing plans I should follow on a daily basis that would ”help” me and every day I failed every one of the items from the lists. I’d write before bed time – ”Tomorrow you’re going to wake up at 8am, take a shower, workout, eat a clean meal and start studying.” and then I would go on and stay up on my phone until 4am, wake up at noon, eat noodles and play video games for the whole day, sobbing about how I could’ve done better – every day was like this.
Once I noticed this pattern I sat down with myself, AGAIN, and this time said I would be completely honest with myself. I said ”look, clearly you’re doing something wrong with the planning, the goals are either too hard for you to manage or you’re just setting the wrong goals and lying to yourself that they are right for you and making yourself believe you can achieve them.” and then it hit me – the lying. I spent all day just lying to myself. Everyday, all day, even the most smallest things like washing hands or doing the dishes. I would cook a meal for myself after coming home from a walk or something and I’d say to myself – ”you don’t have to wash your hands before the meal, they’re not that dirty” and after the meal I’d say something like – ”you don’t have to wash the dishes now, you can do it after you rest and play some video games” and that would make a never ending circle of delaying my chores, lying to myself that I don’t have to finish them now. The small lies would eventually get bigger and I would find myself failing all of my exams because I kept saying to myself ”you have more time, you don’t have to study right away, relax” and instantly I would believe myself and go on to not learning anything while playing video games or laying around.
The plan I set up for myself
After the realization that my life was just a bunch of lies I keep telling myself that eventually build up into a ball of self hatred, depression, anxiety and pointless decisions that keep causing me to have panic attacks and that are ruining my life, I’ve developed a small plan for myself. I just wrote down one day after a panic attack – stop lying for 10 days. And there it began. I started focusing on what I’m telling to myself and how I react do different kind of situations. I keep listening to find that one sentence that is ruining me – ”you don’t have to.”
The second I heard myself saying those words I got up and did the thing I usually wouldn’t do and (here’s the important part) wrote it down in the form of ”TODAY I LIED MYSELF ABOUT…” and it really felt good writing those words knowing I’ve done the thing I normally wouldn’t have done.
MORNING ROUTINES / I installed an alarm app called ”ALARMY” that makes you solve math questions upon waking up so you can’t turn the alarm off without solving the math problem, which really helped me develop a waking up at the same time routine because a) I suck at math, b) it took me forever to solve the problems so I’m as good as awoke in the morning after 3 minutes of the horrible alarm tone I’ve set up. After waking up, I’d always just jump straight to the PC and coffee, without making the bed or washing myself. This time, I woke up and as soon as I heard myself saying ”you don’t have to make the bed and wash yourself, have a cup of coffee first to feel normal” I immediately made the bed, washed my face and brushed my teeth and made breakfast, which felt fantastic.
CHORES / I don’t have a lot of chores to do around my apartment nor do I have a ”serious” job. Usually my chores are tidying up the apartment, making food, cleaning up the dishes, studying etc. But, once I fell down a hole filled with pointless depression and anxiety and I kept repeating myself I shouldn’t do anything but rest those chores tend to pile up. The day I started my no lying challenge I was up to my neck in chores – the dishes were dirty, the apartment was a mess, there were bins full of trash that’s been there for god knows how long etc. Then, I listened, there it was – the voice that tried to lie to me again. Not this time kiddo, from now on, when YOU tell me NOT to do something, I go ahead and DO IT. I got up and made a list of chores that are causing me to be anxious and I sorted them out by difficulty, which by itself felt like a huge load of my back. Then I started doing them, one by one and crossing them off my list and at the same time writing in my journal what lies I didn’t believe myself today – IT FELT AWESOME.
SELF IMPROVEMENT / I used to work out a lot when I was younger and used to really take care of myself, but as the years went on and as college started I started to treat myself like I’m garbage. I got depressed and had all sorts of issues in my head which lead to me avoiding all of the good things I used to do so I got fat and lazy. I hated who I’ve become. I also noticed a pattern where I set my workout goals much bigger than I can handle, and I realized I was still basing them on the strength of the person I WAS, not the weak person I am today. So I figured out I have to make much simpler and easier workouts that I would actually enjoy, not to tiring. As soon as I heard myself ”maybe you can do this workout tomorrow and relax a bit, you’ve done enough today” that was my cue to go and get stuff done. I went out for a light run and did a little bit of push ups, not tiring myself at all and I felt amazing again, I wanted to go again tomorrow and I instantly didn’t want to ruin the small progress I’ve made by eating junk food. I got home and by default told myself ”I’m too lazy do make a decent dinner and it’s not worth it, I’ll just grab some salami and make a sandwich or cook up some chicken noodles” which made me furious. I went out, again, grabbed some chicken breasts and some vegetables and made myself an awesome healthy meal, and my body was god damn surprised by it. It felt amazing.
Point of the story
I figured myself out, it’s day 10 now and I know I’m not gonna quit lying to myself on day 11 because of the positive effect these ten days had on me, and this became a habit of not lying to myself. I know you’re in a hard sport probably right now and that you feel you tried everything, but have you tried telling yourself the REAL truth? That life can be so much more amazing when you embrace who you really are and give yourself the chances that you deserve? I know, it’s hard putting in the work, but without work and responsibilities life is just floating around feeling sorry for yourself, and that’s not why we are alive for. We’re meant to test our meet our full potential, but rare are the people who really discover it, so I’m begging you to sit down and write the lies you tell yourself daily and stop believing in them
Selling A Better Life A blog published by the international magazine Forbes on the founder of Qnet
In the Rough-and-Tumble Business of Direct Sales, Malaysia’s Vijay Eswaran Learns from Mistakes and Builds a Movement
Thousands have come to Jakarta from all over Asia, waiting with patience and anxiety for this moment. At last the music swells. An excited murmur arises; he enters behind a phalanx of bodyguards, and the crowd parts. People strain to touch him or at least his high-collared tunic. Spotlights cast him in a golden glow. He raises a hand in benediction, utters a few unheard words and lets the rush carry him on. Vijay Eswaran has arrived.
It’s a triumphant return to Indonesia for the Malaysian founder and chairman of the Qi Group, a young giant of multilevel marketing with sales that could approach $1 billion in the next couple of years. His annual three-day convention, training session, pep rally and lovefest, the VCon, has attracted more than 8,000 of his company’s so-called IRs. These are some of the 4.5 million independent representatives who buy and sell his products, creating networks that they call a chain of prosperity, giving them a business of their own and a vision of a better life.
Wrapped up in the adulation, it’s tempting for Eswaran to forget the last time his event was held here, in 2007. An obscure lawsuit in the Philippines had mutated into an Interpol arrest warrant, clapping him and three senior executives in jail for three weeks. Indonesian courts scoffed and set him free; a Manila court dismissed the charge soon afterward. But Eswaran remembers it as one of the consequences of building a business in which some people expect a get-rich-quick scheme and feel cheated when they don’t get one.
Or as one reveler put it, “Just because there’s no limit on what you can make doesn’t mean you don’t have to work. Some people don’t, some do.” A young man from Malaysia, Omar, was without prospects in 2009 when he joined Qnet, the company’s keystone division, to sell personal-care products to a few friends, who told other friends. It was tough going at first, but now he can afford to move out on his own and wants to get married next year. “It has changed my life, and it has changed me,” he says. “For all of this I thank Vijay Eswaran.”
People such as Omar have helped Eswaran emerge as one of the most charismatic of Asia’s self-made businesspeople over the past 20 years. Selling the simple things of day-to-day life such as cosmetics and discount phone cards, while also building a thriving gold coin business, has made the 52-year-old one of the richest people in Malaysia. Forbes Asia estimates his net worth at $500 million, based on his stake in the unlisted company as well as holdings in real estate and fine art on display in his lavish homes in Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, Sydney, Hong Kong–where the Qi Group has been headquartered since 1998–and London. (The company won’t divulge his stake, saying only that it’s a majority share, but insiders there indicate that it’s between 70% and 90%. Qi also won’t disclose its annual profits.)
This story touched their hearts (inspirational stories)
This is a story which I read long ago so the narrator is narrating the story.
“ I had just reached the railway station and was waiting for my train to arrive as I had to travel to Jaipur for a family function of my friend. When I asked the Train Enquiry Department, they told me that the train will arrive at 9.00 pm, which meant I had to wait for an extra hour. So I tried to pass my time by having a look at the station and the things happening there. Since it was a small station, there were very few passengers. I saw a group of boys playing with the pebbles. The boys were all dressed up quite pathetically as their clothes were very dirty and torn. But still they were quite happy with the pebbles and were enjoying to the fullest. Suddenly I developed an urge to drink tea as it was a cold evening, but to my misfortune, I couldn’t find any tea vendors at the station. The only tea vendor was sitting outside the station and I couldn’t take the risk of leaving all my luggage at the station just to drink the tea. I called one of the boys from the guys and asked him to bring me a cup of tea by handing him a coin of 5 rupees. He agreed and went to bring me the tea.Time passed and after half an hour,I heard the announcement which said that my train would be arriving in a couple of minutes. Now I was sure that the child ran away with the money and cursed myself for trusting a ROADSIDE Boy. I stood up to pick my luggage as the train arrived. I was just about to enter the coach when I heard a voice which said ‘Babuji, Apki chai’ (translates to ‘Sir, your tea‘)
Surprised with the voice, I looked back and asked him,Why did he bring the tea so late ?
He told me, he lost the 5 rupees coin and so he had to clean the utensils of the tea vendor, to bring me a cup of tea!!
EDIT – I am seeing lots of people saying that this story touched their hearts, well let me tell you even I had tears while writing this. .
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