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Hey, at least we got to go on one date right? (Love stories)

shivrajs shivuu

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(I am on mobile so I’m sorry for the bad formatting)

Before I get into this and tell you all how I feel, I need to tell you all what happened. I have liked this girl for a number of years now, let’s call her E. E is a grade above me and has always been one of my close friends in the small group I have. Ever since the first day of band camp at my school, she caught my eye.

Sadly, it wasn’t until my eleventh grade year that we became good friends and we could hold conversation for a long time. I had always heard from my friends that E thought I was cute and funny, I was really happy when I heard that so a few months later I asked her to go to prom with me. We talked and talked about it but sadly in the end her answer was no. She kept telling me it wasn’t that she didn’t like me, it was that my ex girlfriend was one of her only female friends at that time. I felt sad for a few days but I understood completely, and honestly I’m still pissed off at my ex for doing that.

Let’s time skip to a few weeks ago. My buddy had invited another friend of ours, me, E, and one of E’s friends to come out and hang at his house. My friend had a pool so we all got in and fooled around for a few hours. Over time it turned into us playing truth or dare. It was tame and PG at first but then it turned into us kissing. I got to kiss two of the girls that I always thought were far out of my league but they seemed into it. That day I fell for E again.

I know what you’re gonna say, “She won’t go out with you because of her friend. You should’ve moved on” I know I should’ve but there’s just something about her that I can’t get over. I was captivated by her again and everyone knew it. My friends even tried helping me by talking me up to her and well it finally paid off.

I was sitting at home playing the new Fire Emblem game this past Saturday when I got four back to back texts from my friends. The texts read “Ask E out on a date” I thought they were messing with me so I sent them “IDK should I?” They all texted me yes. This bickering went on for a few more messages until finally I texted E and asked her on a date. She said yes, she asked me when and where so I told her I’d pick her up Sunday around noon and we’d go catch a movie and hang out around the mall.

The next day I was freaking out because I didn’t know what to wear. Thinking back on it now I should’ve brought a jacket since we were going to the movies. I settled on this skater/e-boy look and I drove out to pick her up. The date started out really good, we laughed and we talked about music, her trip to NYC, and other things we had in common. We had some time to kill before the movie so we walked around the mall and continued the conversation. After a while of us laughing at stupid things in stores, we headed to the theater where the date took a slight down turn. We were cold and the entire time I was wondering when to put my arm around her. When I took my second bathroom brake I just told myself “You’re gonna go in there and in fifteen minutes you’re gonna stretch and put your arm around her. Well as soon as I got back into the theater the damn credits were rolling. I was pissed off at myself and I still am! After the movies we went and got a few shakes before we headed back to her place. Our friends were already there so we all hung out but one by one they all left and it was just me and her saying goodbye. We both said we had a good time and we wanted to do it again but there was this long silence afterwards since neither of us knew what to do after that. I got in my car waved at her and drove off.

I thought that a majority of the date went well, I even texted her when I got home saying “I though you looked really pretty. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in person I just didn’t want to look like a creep by bringing it up out of no where” She texted back almost immediately saying thank you and that she understands. I started texting her again Tuesday, but I got some disappointing news. She said since she was moving to college in less than a week she wanted to end it before things got serious. l understood and this time I wasn’t sad when she turned me down because I got a date with the woman I’ve liked for these last 3 years. I do plan on attending college with my friends, and that happens to be the same college she’s attending.

So dear reader, I leave you this in closing. I’m not by any means saying that this is the end, but this is all that has happened so far. I will continue to right when my love life springs back up. Hopefully, this won’t be the last I write about E.

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Love Stories

My tragic love life (Love stories)

shivrajs shivuu

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This might seem unbelievable, believe what you want. Please tell me on any grammar mistakes and please don’t feel bad for me. I have more stories of me with her, so upvote if you want to see it

I’m laying in bed, my pillow wet with tears. However this is not where my story begins. Seven years ago, while riding a bike down my neighborhood, my eyes gazed upon a girl, my age. I wanted to know more about this mystery girl. Later that month, the neighborhood was holding a goodbye party to one of our neighbors. I was running around with soft grass below my feet, playing tag with this mystery girl. She was nice and very beautiful. 2 years later, I asked her on a date to go see Captain America The Winter Soldier. The rest of the year consisted of movie nights. I used to play piano for her back when I used to play. We spent every moment possible with each other, she was my best friend ever. Then, in September of 2014, we had our first kiss. We then skip to the summer of 2018. My girlfriends’ parents were going through their first divorce. She would always come over to my house crying her eyes out. I offered to take her to Honolulu. Her parents agreed because they had a uncle who lived on that island who could look over us while we were there. Her parents provided plane tickets and my parents paid for the hotel. As we were driving to our hotel, my girlfriend was using my leg as a pillow, and there are few things that I will remember, but that is one thing I will never forget. When we check into our hotel room, we look upon the wonder of the room. Second floor, overlooking the beach, one queen sized bed, a kitchen, porch, one large bathroom and a fridge with a water dispenser. We set our packs down and decided just to sleep, we had a long flight. In the morning we wake up around 10 A.M(Hawaii time) or 1 P.M. (Arizona Time) to the birds chirping. We go eat eggs and bacon for breakfast, and walk around the hotel that we would be staying in for the next 2 weeks. It had a restaurant, pool, shop, and a great view of the ocean. Around 4 P.M, She gets a text from her uncle telling us to meet him out in the front of the hotel at 5 to go out to eat dinner and look around the town. We had a great meal and nothing huge happened the first couple of days. After a shower, we get dressed and walk onto the porch, and this is the moment in my life that I cry over every time. I look to my side and she looks at me, and she has a large smile. Her white teeth, hazel eyes, the sun shining on her dark and blond hair which was covering one eye, her beautiful skin. She was perfect. I hugged her close and the smell of her shampoo drowned out the smell of the ocean and said three words to her, “I love you.” From that moment on we knew, our love was true. After we got home, her parents had sorted everything out and were together again. Now I wish this is where the story ends, with a happy ending and all, but there is some more. About 6 months after our trip, her parents got divorced again. Her father got custody during the majority of the year, and he lived in New York. Her father got custody on school breaks (summer, winter, spring, etc). The last time I saw her was the day after I found out, and that was also our last kiss, and date. After about a week, we had been talking about our plans because we never broke up. We planned to get married after college and once we had stable jobs and a good house, have kids. I wish this was the end, 2000 miles apart, but still together. 10 days later, on the day of our 5 year anniversary, I got the worse news a human can get. She was hit by a car. The car that hit her got T-boned by a person who ran a red. The car hit with such force that it sent the car right into Perfect as she walked across the street. I was informed 2 hours later, that she had died. Now we reach the part were I cry my face off. The person I wanted to have a family with, the Perfect girl, smart, nice, beautiful, perfect in every way. I asked the cemetery If I could get buried next to her so I could lay with her until the sun burns out of the sky. They said that it was first come first serve at their place but that they could hold a spot for maybe a year. So here I am, a guy, who has a girlfriend who is dead, as we never officially broke up. I have one picture of her left on my phone per request of her after our last date. I am afraid to love again, because of the love I loved. I gave it my all, and lost it all with her. Every morning when the morning dawns, I remember that she was gone. Every night, as the will set, I will remember the amount of love I can get. Remembering the chance I blew, I asked “how can I go on without you?” There last thing I said to her was, “please don’t go.” I wish I told her that I love her.

 

So last winter I was going on a trip with my girlfriend at Lake Tahoe. We were both 16 at the time and our parents figured that we would need maybe a pilotless of supervision. (My company my dad works for owns condos in different places and one was at Tahoe and he had co-workers who lived there). My girlfriend and I stayed at the condo and everyday we were to check in with my dad’s friend. We were there for a week and every went nicely. We went skiing a lot because we loved to ski.

I have one picture on my phone of her when from Tahoe that I found recently on my phone. She was in a red sweatshirt that covered her 2 tattoos that she got while in our previous trip to Hawaii and she was also wearing jean shorts, for some reason while in a really really cold place. Her bronze color hair covering her face as the sun reflected off of it. And as she was fixing her shirt. She looked up at me, smiled and said, “I love you”

Then on April 4th, the unthinkable happened. It was the day of our 5th anniversary, and she was hit by a car while she was living in New York. She died before I was able to say “I love you”

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Love Stories

A day of the strangest vacation (Love stories)

shivrajs shivuu

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That fucking life…..sometimes it’s good(not exactly) sometimes it’s the worst thing in the actual life.Man I personally don’t like the life in some aspects like love and such cuz when you’re nerd in life which is controlled by some lookin good football dump guys or some very dump one’s.Now I’m writing that cuz I’m really dump guy.In overall I hate my life which is not so good thing cuz I know some humans that they don’t have house’s or something like that.Now I’m on some dump night club on vacation with the guys from the dances (yeah I dance and it’s horrible)and there is that other guys from the other town (I’m living in little country)and I saw one girl which is totally awesome and I pretend to like her ,but hey that’s that other guy who is pretty handsome and actually good lookin but that’s the not so good part…and  yeah and the other shitty part is that I’m 13 yrs old and on that club I can’t drink alcohol and such so I can’t die with methanol (really shitty)and yeah before that I was on vacation for 6 days and I wasn’t there for the first day (I was screwed) which was fill with the best things from the vacation (that’s what I heard cuz I wasn’t there)and this is the third day from the vacation and yesterday and the other day we played some really dump game that I don’t like so much (something like challenging each other)and there was that challenge to kiss that girl(the other football average poor guy )and I was like hell no,but hey it’s fact and right now I’m like depressed nerd on night club.If someone read that shit(I don’t know if I gonna post that on some social platform or such) I’m gonna continue the stories…..And here’s me 5 mins after I started writing that they actually are together (aaaaah)and the couch actually helped for that.Im good for that I have some friends for help and hearing my shit but I really don’t get how that life works cuz one day it’s complete shit(like really fucked up day)and one day actually average good(for me the day it’s never good but for people it’s)and I’m really wondered how that helps for any reason I’m realigious and for some humans that’s normal to believe in something but I believe…..in something that I can’t figure out but some day I’ll find out what is it(I’m hoping to die tomorrow but the hopes are free they say).Hey I’m back after like 40 mins and that guy was chosen to go on competition on stripteaser pylon with 3 other guys and he actually won (hell as fuck for me)and the life is trying to prove that I’m complete idiot and don’t have luck overall….I hate the life that I’m living….Bruh that life is trying to  god damn prove me I’m shit…Hey I think this little story should have some kind of end(doesn’t it)so I’m back from that shitty club and  when we’re goin to the hotel I talked a little bit with girl and she told me(after a hour)she actually doesn’t want to be with him so I was like hell yeah but the hard part is to tell to the dump guy and all’s done….

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Love Stories

Marrying a Man in Prison (Love stories)

shivrajs shivuu

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Over a year ago I was watching a lot of prison shows and seen that not a lot of people in there had friends or family and they were kind of lonely. So I went online and wanted to give someone a friend. I was searching and I looked in my own state because maybe I did want to meet them some day and give them a real friendship. I looked at men because I have a tendency to not get along with women over text so it would probably translate the same in letters.

I found this man with one picture on his bio that a friend of his probably set up. He had handsome blue eyes and some face tattoos. In his bio he wrote about his love for motorcycles, his religion, and other things. There was something about him that I liked. He was older than me and I decided that he would be the person I would offer a friend to. I wrote him a short paragraph and didn’t know all what to say and sent it off.

I anxiously waited to see if I might have gotten a chance to talk to someone knew. Looking back on that time I thought I wanted to give someone a friend but I think I was also looking for a friend for myself. I was lonely at the time dealing with depression and I didn’t really have luck with friends anyways.

I got a letter back and opened it right in my car. I was excited to read it and I smiled the entire time while reading it. I seen this amazing man and someone excited that someone responded. He told me a bit about himself and then left it up to me if I wanted to continue writing to him. Of course I responded immediately. When that second letter came I could just read how happy he was that I still wanted to talk to him. I could just see the happiness grow the more and more we talked. He didn’t talk to his family anymore at the time and really only had one other person he talked to.

We talked more and more and then it led to phone calls. We talked as much as we could. We got to know each other so we’ll. He was amazing. We then started talking about more than being friends. After several months of friendships we started dating. And then I went to visit him for the first time. I was so nervous. Then we really only got closer from there. We’ve had our ups and downs since he did have a lot of hard days where he thought I’d be better off without him. I’m in college and there’s a 20 year age difference between us. But every time we got through it we got stronger. I love this man so much. I’ve started talking to his family. And we came to this feeling of how much we love each other and we didn’t want to wait until he got out to get married. So I married the man of my dreams.

My family disowned me for a while after I told them we got married and then we started talking again but things are still rough. But I am so happy with him. We plan on moving up to Alaska once he is out next year and settling down and having two kids and just enjoying life together. I wouldn’t change a thing. Meeting him in there is what really made us have a strong relationship. You get to know someone a lot better through long letters than through a text message. I found love and I couldn’t ask for anyone better.

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